The connection created between 2 (or more) people carries a life & soul of its own. The relationship is influenced by the particular souls, histories, psyche's and environments of the individuals involved, but is also, in a way, a home of its own. We might ask, for example, What is at the core of this relationship's center of gravity? What is being created, released & absorbed? What are the pillars & foundation of this connection? What does the relationship invite each individual to heal, grow, change & surrender within themselves? To presume the soul-life of a particular relationship meets our fantasies, hopes & desires might be to miss the honest gifts, opportunities & challenges of what's really there, even if the framework of a relationship has been clearly defined.
Areas within our relationships that are asking for healing and growth will often present themselves in various ways. Intimacy Issues. Approaches to Conflict & (not) Repairing Ruptures. Insecure Attachment Styles. Blended Families. Un-Coupling, Separation & Divorce. Infidelity. Problems in Communication. Major Life Transitions & Shifting Frameworks. Poorly Defined Boundaries. Shame & Hiding. Enmeshment, Isolation & Codependency...
The psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion said "Blame is a failure of understanding." This is a centralizing concept to the way in which I work. Change and growth occur when we are willing to honestly name particular dynamics & feelings, at which point we may begin to develop greater clarity, accountability, grace, tolerance and forgiveness into our relationships. This is more likely to occur when we remove the barrier of locating the problem primarily in one place rather than seeing all dynamics as co-created processes by which both people participate.
Meeting at a pace that feels appropriate to the relationship, Couples Sessions are 75 minutes in length, and will often begin, end (or both), with a guided mindfulness meditation. The growing literature that supports the 'resets' provided through mindfulness is extensive, and grounding practices are extremely beneficial to individuals and couples working through difficult circumstances which activate portions of the nervous system, brain, and unconscious most associated with defenses, and which often inhibit couple from moving through these reactions into more clear and fruitful domains.
Each of us carries wounds which may inhibit us from giving & receiving love well, and these individual processes need to be engaged in order for a relationship to grow as a whole. Individual Work in conjunction with Couples Sessions invites us to engage more intricately with individual particularities which are contributing to a relationship's dynamics as a whole, and may be something I recommend in our work together.
Interested in learning about helpful relationship frameworks but not ready to begin 'couples work'?
Upcoming 6-Week Intimate Relationship Workshops
Dates Coming soon
Dates Coming Soon